


The Cult of Coulson

by burning_nova



Series: Kinkmeme Fills [27]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2013-08-08
Packaged: 2017-12-22 20:25:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/917670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burning_nova/pseuds/burning_nova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Cult of Coulson is strong at SHIELD.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cult of Coulson

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/16019.html?thread=35405459t35405459

"And Lo, Phillip "Cheese" Coulson so did love his people that he came back from the very arms of Death!" Sitwell said in a loud and reverent voice to the gathered agents and personel members of SHIELD. The cafeteria was silent. "Now please turn to "Report 734" subsection 34." A flurry of movement and sound of quickly turned pages followed.

"Now please follow along. "Agent Coulson faced Loki alone upon the Helicarrier. After firing [redacted] onto the hostile, Coulson was impaled by the Loki's weapon" Sitwell read. Baby Agents, new initiates were confused but followed along.

Several minutes passed as Sitwell read from the redacted report from the Apostle Fury. "And so it was that he did come to life once more!" He said as he ended the report. "Now reflect upon these actions and consider them in your own life."

He licked his lips. "What do Coulson's actions reflect? How can they be applied in our lives?" A baby agent raised her hand cautious. "Yes, Agent Manning?"

"That acting alone is a risk...that may cost us our lives and our enemies may have the upper hand even when it doesn't appear like it?" She offered. Sitwell nodded and she continued. "And...we shouldn't take on Asgardian gods alone?"

"Good analysis but no." Manning's face fell. "I'm joking. That's very good. Of course there is a lot of interpretation going around on what it means to have a god kill a god. Is it a fight among equals that one may still be bested and return or does it mean that we are never truly equal but must never surrender?

Manning beamed. "Now, I have to go to a debrief in half an hour. Brother-Agent Hill will resume the sermon for me then." Hill glared as the crowd turned to her. They all quickly looked away.

Another agent raised their hand. "Yes, Agent Rodgers?"

"Is it true we can give offerings of donuts and Coulson will give us his blessing?"

"Yes."

Another hand. "Yes?"

"Coulson blessed me yesterday in the washroom! The passed me on the way out and said "Good job agent!"

"That's not a question but I appreciate the faith."

After another the congregation left, discussing the various tenets of their newfound faith. Handlers were talking about a possible pilgrimage to Coulson's fabled birth land, Philadelphia. Agents and Baby Agents were discussing battle strategies enacted by Coulson and how it might apply to their lives in the field and out. In various teams they entered the official temple and left their offerings, uttering small prayers and lighting votive candles.

Agent Phillip "God" Coulson just ignored them and kept working, wondering when the nonsense would ever die down.


End file.
